strike one my friend, i wont take any more of your bullshit. never ever fucking take out all your fucking problems on me, dont ever fucking think i will stand up for it. this is fucking life, fucking deal with your shit, i have my own fucking things to deal with, man the fuck up, pussy bitch. dont fucking walk out on me like im nth to you, cuz if i am nothing to you, better tell me now and end it. yeah its once, but this fucking once, you better know, it is not okay
talking bout being a pussy bitch, i am guilty of being one, i am tired of being worried about getting an answer back from this fucking guy, about whether i am good enough or not to fucking learn from him. and these past few days have been hell, looks and seems like every fucking thing i do aint good enough fo anybody. it is the most disheartening thing ever. now i look at my work, i want to fucking cry and delete every thing. theres always a problem here and a problem there................ i swear, not fucking kidding, i look at my work and i just fucking wonder why the fuck was i one of the ppl chosen for the sony ice award bullshit, i am not even joking right now, i really really really wonder, why the fuck was i, one of the five ppl chosen to be interviewed. that fucking thing is not a big deal, shut the fuck up, i fucking get it, but its that sort of shit that just got me thinking and thinking and thinking, cuz if all my works are fucking rubbish and im not good enough for any small web series, film, design, MOTION GRAPHICS, why kiss my ass like this. it was a fucking mistake, everything is a mistake. mr lecturer, dont fucking bullshit with me and say nice things, i genuinely hate it, so much, it is sickening. i have never, never ever felt so disheartened before.
it is, that feeling of thinking of ideas, executing the fucking project and finishing it, and then you're like, "okay not bad, not bad," and then smile. the next few days later, it is apparently bullshit crap to others. it sucks. you see, im fine, you have your own opinion and brain, but you fucking say EVERYTHING, this colour, this font, this background thisiodaijaeihtfwidorjifhicjniuchjnwiucjd is wrong, and then i hear "its.... not... that good...." it feels like a personal attack, it probably is not, but thats how it feels, my fucking girly feelings/senses are tingling. i get so mad... looking at my work... i can never be proud of anything i do... blhablahabanlahlblah sensitivity and shit. fuck you all, my work is good enough, ass faced bitches.
-a
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