so i went back and read all the stuff i used to post and i realised even 2 or 3 or even 4 years ago i already had anger issues and i already didnt know how to deal with it and now that im turning 24 in a few weeks i still, I STILL have this problem and i still dont know how to counter it. and i really want to but i dont know how, i read articles online, i ask people, i still cant find a proper way for me to let out all this anger, i still dont know where to channel all this unwanted hate and energry.
now im currently attached to this japanese boy named Yusaku. he is great, he doesnt get angry easily, but i feel that hes getting frustrated that i get angry easily and he wont put up with it, i dont know what i need; do i need someone that will put up with me or do i need someone who wont, so i will learn better and faster. for now, im trying, maybe not enough but i know i am and i know that i am, maybe, a bit, a tiny little bit better than last time. well thats what i choose to believe. i hope im right.
ugh sometimes i hate behing like this, i get to sensitive about the slightest things and it pisses me off hahah see, im pissed off again and its crazy, i really think i need to get psychologist. like one that will be one ring away, hopefully one day i will be able to like maybe get to see one and just find a way to calm down and not be a horrrible person. i sorta hate myself like not hate hate myself but like i really dislike this part of me. also the OCD part of myself, its breaking me, breaking my life. like i know im better than last time but i know that i if i can get better i will be able to love more, i will be able to love others more, myself more, now i see this defect in me and i hate it. ugh this is so infuriating. i dont want to be like this and i try so hard not to be and i try so hard to be better but nothing works and nothing i do helps.
BUT i do feel like 0.4% better after typing this all done hhahah i rmb i used to have like this huge big black book i used to write all my feelings and shit inside and it was like great. it was great, i wish i had it now. i gess for now since im not in singapore, i can just use this as a get away cuz it does help i feel much more calm than i did like typing the first few words.
for my ref:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-things-to-do-when-youre-feeling-angry-with-someone/
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/20-things-when-you-feel-extremely-angry.html
2. Separate Emotion from Action
You’ll likely want to pull a Godzilla and destroy everything in your path, but it’s important to take a step back and feel the emotion before you take action on it, especially when you feel extremely angry—let the anger take its course. Prematurely deciding to take action may cause more angst than waiting to give perspective to your anger.
After you’ve cooled off, you might find:
- the situation wasn’t as big a deal as you thought.
- in the long run it will lead to better things for you.
- it will take more than an outburst to solve the issue.
Or, you might find your anger was triggered by something completely different.
8. Don’t Play the Victim
The worst thing you can do is blame the entire universe for your problems.
Yes, this person did you wrong, and sure, that situation could have worked out better, but you have a mind of your own: your life isn’t happening toyou, so why are you acting like it is?
Until you take responsibility for your part in what’s happened—how yourreaction to this person and that situation lead you to where you are today—you’ll just keep making the same mistakes and fanning the fire instead of putting it out.
Don’t ask, “Why me?” Ask, “What now?”
-Ace
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