DUDE ITS THE END OF 2019 ALREADY!

omg hiiiiii. It’s the 30th of Dec 2019, I got married to Yusaku in 2018, Nov 6th, I’m current pregnant with my first child, 31weeks and 4 days to be exact, THIS IS SO CRAZY!!! I really cannot believe this blog is still up, I think the first post was done when I was like a little teen.

Anywayyyyy I dunno what to post also just wanna remind myself how I’m feeling now, I have been like a mother hen, clearing the ‘new’ house, not really new la cuz we moved it like around 3 or 4 months ago lol but I’m getting it baby ready for baby Akina-chan (aka Popi-chan!) it’s been great so far, only in Oct, that was the worst month, bleeding and going back to Sg for my ah gong’s funeral and also finding out my father has lung cancer... that really broke me, but as of now he’s going thru chemo therapy and it seems like it’s working good for now so we are all trying to stay positive! I’m really happy that he is keeping a positive mindset and saying that he can’t wait to meet his grand daughter. I really hope he recovers well, from the tone and volume of this voice, it seems like he is getting much better cuz when I was back in Sg in Oct, he was huffing and puffing and getting really breathless after talking for awhile, but now when I skype mum, he can shout HI BABY from his bed so far away hahaha so that’s good, I’m happy. Also charice and Yukie (popi’s 2 god mamas) has been such awesome friends, taking care of me as well as Bets and Robs, really so so so grateful for them... they always visit and bring not just gifts but so much joy to the fam, what would I do without them sia.

Yusaku has been a great hubby, always loving and tolerating my sudden bursts of anger and frustrations lol he always says I love you to be randomly, hugs and kisses not just me but my tummy, talking to Popiah (that’s what he calls her) and is always so supportive overall, we can’t wait to meet her. I really hope he can stay this way even after she’s born lol pls be a supportive hubby and father okie Yuzu. But ya he is very ganbatteru with his work and I although he is super mendokusagari and likes to do stuff in his own time, I see his big ol face lol I just love his so much. Also he said I look more kawaii now cuz I put on weight, lol not bad give you points for that. Also my MIL and my sister in laws are so cute and supportive! My MIL always accompanies me to the doc appointments and I love going and hanging out with her after for like lunch and stuff, she’s really the best of the best and I’m so blessed and lucky to have her as my MIL sia seriously. She always knows what to say when I’m down and troubled or even when I fight with her son, I love her so much omgggg. Oh popi is kicking me so hard right now what are u doing are you breakdancing oh she’s upside down now yay!

A lot has happened and my work and boss and just the whole company have been really supportive too, allowing me to work from home which helps a lot cuz our new house is pretty far now, compared to the previous house la.

I really hope that Popi will be born happy and healthy and just... super happy and healthy lol. Popi, if you ever read this, mummy and otoosan love you so much! Daisuki da yo. Please be safe and happy and healthy forever hahaha you are very loved and I want to kiss and hug you. Everything is so surreal ahhhh like howwww?! Like I came to japan 5 years ago and now 5 years later, I’m married and going to have a kid, izzz so crazyyyy, it’s awesome.

Some ohotossssss

oh my its already 2016 and its been 2 years since i posted anything,
so i went back and read all the stuff i used to post and i realised even 2 or 3 or even 4 years ago i already had anger issues and i already didnt know how to deal with it and now that im turning 24 in a few weeks i still, I STILL have this problem and i still dont know how to counter it. and i really want to but i dont know how, i read articles online, i ask people, i still cant find a proper way for me to let out all this anger, i still dont know where to channel all this unwanted hate and energry.
now im currently attached to this japanese boy named Yusaku. he is great, he doesnt get angry easily, but i feel that hes getting frustrated that i get angry easily and he wont put up with it, i dont know what i need; do i need someone that will put up with me or do i need someone who wont, so i will learn better and faster. for now, im trying, maybe not enough but i know i am and i know that i am, maybe, a bit, a tiny little bit better than last time. well thats what i choose to believe. i hope im right.
ugh sometimes i hate behing like this, i get to sensitive about the slightest things and it pisses me off hahah see, im pissed off again and its crazy, i really think i need to get psychologist. like one that will be one ring away, hopefully one day i will be able to like maybe get to see one and just find a way to calm down and not be a horrrible person. i sorta hate myself like not hate hate myself but like i really dislike this part of me. also the OCD part of myself, its breaking me, breaking my life. like i know im better than last time but i know that i if i can get better i will be able to love more, i will be able to love others more, myself more, now i see this defect in me and i hate it. ugh this is so infuriating. i dont want to be like this and i try so hard not to be and i try so hard to be better but nothing works and nothing i do helps.
BUT i do feel like 0.4% better after typing this all done hhahah i rmb i used to have like this huge big black book i used to write all my feelings and shit inside and it was like great. it was great, i wish i had it now. i gess for now since im not in singapore, i can just use this as a get away cuz it does help i feel much more calm than i did like typing the first few words.

for my ref:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-things-to-do-when-youre-feeling-angry-with-someone/
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/20-things-when-you-feel-extremely-angry.html

2. Separate Emotion from Action

You’ll likely want to pull a Godzilla and destroy everything in your path, but it’s important to take a step back and feel the emotion before you take action on it, especially when you feel extremely angry—let the anger take its course. Prematurely deciding to take action may cause more angst than waiting to give perspective to your anger.

After you’ve cooled off, you might find:

• the situation wasn’t as big a deal as you thought.
• in the long run it will lead to better things for you.
• it will take more than an outburst to solve the issue.

Or, you might find your anger was triggered by something completely different.

8. Don’t Play the Victim

The worst thing you can do is blame the entire universe for your problems.

Yes, this person did you wrong, and sure, that situation could have worked out better, but you have a mind of your own: your life isn’t happening toyou, so why are you acting like it is?

Until you take responsibility for your part in what’s happened—how yourreaction to this person and that situation lead you to where you are today—you’ll just keep making the same mistakes and fanning the fire instead of putting it out.

Don’t ask, “Why me?” Ask, “What now?”

-Ace

♪  Strickerbrush Symphony- Charm Offensive
♪ はじめまして(demo) - Lovely Summer


HI. i rly dont know what to type HAHAH.
how bout... i flash u a blur photo of me... sorta digging my nose.

dat is all. be back soon. like 1 year lol. jk la.

Love,

Ace cake

wow.

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momoko and her friends

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THE NOVEMBERS

fucking nice picture guyz! i wish we were friends 

SO CUTIE VV

also, watch our vlogs!

Vv and Ace in Korea! Ep. 1

AND

Vv and Ace in Korea! Ep. 2

lastly my hair is so short. goodbye.

Love,

Az

rolling eyeballs.

SO it has been like a good few months, i hardly show that im angry anymore. so thats pretty good!
but today, right now, i feel very very very angry.
very.
not fucking, but just, very angry.
i want to rant. im dying to rant, but i will not. becuz i am a fucking happy person.

-ace

Am I a bad person?




"yes."

i heard him play live at Atomi, he was practicing, so i guess it wasn't reeeallly a real performance, and i was in a 'meeting' but i kept looking over, & i couldn't stop looking at him, and it was so beautiful, this song.


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Self indulgent.
Shit, i havent been blogging at all.
can i just spam a bunch of photos...

夏祭り

oooba san same face.

pikachu represent \m/

vv and i hahahah

vv and her soccer buds

...k

not sure how this pose caught on.......

but hay look, me werkin'

mah budz

MAH BAOBEIX

random photo of The Novembers, cuz they are my ultimate love.

one day my hair became like that.

ricey cam

good for selfies.

hi

kiss u

bought mario and luigi dream team lol doesnt explain the pikachu get up tho.

i also fear that ppl will not love me cuz i have a round face.

dat is all...

Love,

Ace